This is sort of a journaling device, or a way to get this out of my head, so maybe I can turn pain and anger into a positive action. For me, the first step is to just speak it.
Some asshole tried to make a point about how white LGBT people are to blame for things (instead of you know, the people who try at every turn to strip away the rights of people who just want to be themselves, usually because they believe in a dumb ass book). In doing so, asshole repeated (and claimed to believe in… and supported, by name, others who repeat the same points…) a number of the same arguments used by those who KILL trans people to a global audience of millions. Just as Trump emboldened racism by platforming it, so too is this vitriol (e.g. trans women are equivalent to black face?) platforming more hate directed at the trans community.
Let’s be clear. This isn’t about being offended or hurting feelings. It goes far beyond that. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is just not always true. “The pen is mightier than the sword” I think better fits reality. It’s not about feelings, it’s about is invaliding people, dehumanizing them, and giving others the confidence to the do the same. It’s encouraging people and giving legitimacy to those who use these arguments to harm people. BIPOC trans women are particularly vulnerable to violence and suicide (which is ironic considering asshole’s larger point). The people who target and kill trans people think and say the same things this asshole said to millions. Now more and more will do the same and use the same excuses to do harm. What happens then? More violence. More suicide. More death. More suffering for the LGBT and trans communities. Just as I blame Trump for the people who stormed the capital, I will blame this asshole for the murders of trans people by those he emboldened and gave legitimacy. Then there is the direct harm: I will also blame him (and those who come to his defense) for the self harm (including my own) and suicides that result from the distress and invalidation this asshole dumped on top of trans people already worn down by so many other similiar attacks.
Speaking of suicide, the human shield the asshole uses (because, as we all know, one can’t be being a hateful bigot if one has a friend who they said said it was ok) died to suicide. There’s a power dynamic between celebrity and fan, between the rich and famous and us normies, between a famous person with all the money and connections one can imagine and a person nobody has ever heard of. How hard do you think it would be for a person to confront a rich, powerful, person who can shit talk you to millions, especially when they are being nice to you and helping you. That person’s support of asshole’s “jokes” to me is at best a coerced confession and at worst, a strategic manipulation by asshole to justify his asshole views.
All for what, for a joke? No. It’s much more simple. The “joke” is a ruse; comedy a façade. He is biased against LGBT and trans people. He thinks what he is saying is right. He’s a comedian and has a stage and an audience. And there is an incentive in speaking those views (Asshole isn’t stupid, just very selfish, desperate for attention, hateful, etc…). See, just like Trump, what’s important to these kind of hacks (e.g. Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, Kanye West, Rudy Giuliani), is the limelight, attention, publicity, relevance. We’re all talking about it. I hate that I am. No press is bad press right? Being as provocative and counter culture as possible is a clear mark of hack trying to stay relevant. So yeah, in this stage of asshole’s career (when he’s so out of touch with normal people who haven’t been rich and famous for many many years) he’ll say what he thinks will get him the most. The most money, the most attention, the most headlines, the most relevance. Because at this point, what does he have to lose?
I don’t know Daveasshole, what’s left to lose? More BIPOC and LBGT lives? Or do you just want more dead “friends”? Because you say you “care about trans people” but you sure are doing a lot that will lead to their harm.
So there, it’s out. Onward to action. Cancel culture is a thing because people are realizing our actions are what we control and there is power in that. Those in control never like it when you wrestle it back. I can stop watching netflix. I can’t make netflix stop putting this shit on their platform. I can choose who I surround myself with. I can’t control what those around will believe or say. There is freedom. You get yours and I get mine. I’m exercising mine and I encourage others to do the same. It’s no wonder those who benefit from controlling our attention (yes, our attention is without a doubt the worlds largest commodity) for their profit see “cancel” culture as a threat. Their response is so predictable: directed reticule with the intent to strangle anything that inhibits their ability to retain control. I’m not taking the bait. Call it what you will but to me “canceling” things that I feel cause harm is literally one of the most powerful things I can do. It sure as shit beats a social media post or protracted debate. So that’s what I’ll do. Asshole has the freedom to do what he did. I called him out. I have the freedom to do what I want. If I’m called out for “canceling” someone, so be it. I’m pretty confident that me no longer giving my time, attention, or money to asshole or those who enable asshole will do far less harm than the action he took and continues to defend.
To all those LGBT people and allies defending asshole, please take a few minutes to reconsider. This isn’t about jokes and comedy and hurt feelings. It’s about the actual harm and violence that people like asshole openly and brazenly cause daily. Can you really defend that? Here are actual defenses that people use to kill trans people. And for those who don’t know, the suicide rate among LGBT people, especially trans people is so high because of this kind of hate in the world. When I was a child this kind of hate was so pervasive it seeped into who I was. Those roots have been hard to excise and it’s taken me 30 years to finally come out of the closet. That is real, tangible harm and I’m very privileged, lucky, and fortunate; so many more experience so much worse. We can only control what we consume and who we make relevant. Please stop making the people who do real harm to LGBT people relevant. Please do not give people like asshole your support.
PS, my moniker of choice is asshole because I enjoy the symbolism: all that the asshole produces is a bunch of toxic shit and whatever society shoved up there (because let’s face it, this isn’t just an isolated incident).